A tale of three cheesecakes (HH/BW Challenge Series)

Walker's Bluff Winery, Carterville, IL

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. We had found some incredible Harvest Hosts locations in southern Illinois, but we were inundated with weather woes and RV problems, which were really putting a damper on our experience. We had yet to explore the grounds of Walker's Bluff Winery. From the little bit we saw, this place was gorgeous. Sculptures lined the pond while egrets, herons, and geese wandered about. All of the architecture was Tuscan-inspired, aside from the beautiful rustic yurt at the back of the property, and the buildings all immersed themselves seamlessly into the surroundings. We parked ourselves in the furthest corner of the back lot and had a large field off our pleasure side, where bumblebees buzzed among the clovers. On Wednesday, when the winery was closed, the only sounds were the birds, the breeze, and the distant lawnmowers of the landscapers.

We had been permitted to stay for an extra night, which meant we got to experience the property both when closed on a Wednesday (5/1) and open on a Thursday (5/2). Because we opted out of hiking at Garden of the Gods on Thursday, we took advantage by catching up on work in the morning, followed by exploring in the afternoon and dinner in the evening.

The property has several event spaces, including a wine cave, the yurt and pondside cocktail area, the Depot picnic pavilion, Legends fine dining, and the Tasting Room. We explored the grounds and got to see staff preparing for the weekend ahead. Legends would be holding a high school prom the following day, and we aren't sure if anything was happening at the Cave, but it looked like it was possibly set up for a rehearsal dinner, or even a wedding. Every area brought something different, but kept with the vibe of the entire property. The grounds were meticulously landscaped and decorated with waterfalls, garden lights, and the sculptures.

The Tasting Room was open for dinner and we had been looking forward to trying their food. The menu was right up our alley. We appreciate high-quality ingredients, made into dishes that aren't too over-the-top or pretentious. We prefer well-cooked simplicity over anything too complex. We like the main and the sides of each dish to complement one another. We're very picky, which is why we usually just opt to cook for ourselves instead of spending the money to go out. We're often disappointed. However, we did not think this would be the case here.

Our instincts were right. This was one of the best meals we have had in a very long time. The food was all fresh and delicious, and the ambience certainly didn't hurt, either! The room has tall ceilings with gorgeous lighting and vineyard-inspired tiles. The bar was stationed at the front of the room and was just enough of a focal piece without drawing too much attention. The tables were high-top and the chairs were delightfully plush for bar-height seating. We ordered the cheese breadsticks and a Caesar Salad for appetizers. For my entree, I got the pecan-crusted chicken with sweet potato mash, and I subbed the wilted spinach for roasted asparagus. Anthony got the surf 'n turf burger - Wagyu beef burger topped with a crabcake - and for sides got herbed roasted potatoes and cheesy grits. Everything was fantastic, but quite a few of the items rank very high on the list of the best we've had anywhere. The pecan-crusted chicken and herbed potatoes were the shining stars. Service was efficient and all of the waitstaff were very friendly. Unlike some of the other wineries we've stayed at through Harvest Hosts, this place felt like a restaurant first, with a menu created to complement their wine list, if you opt for it. However, wine was not pushed on anyone; the Tasting Room had a full bar and staff immediately brought water to the table when you sat down.

As we ate, we noticed that they were setting up for Trivia Night, and so we asked about it. We found out that it would be starting later that evening, and one of the trivia hosts asked if we'd like to join. Our answer: "Heck yes!" We ordered dessert to go – a slice of caramel cheesecake and a slice of strawberry cheesecake – and brought it and our leftovers back to the rig. It started to rain, so we opted to drive the truck back over to the Tasting Room for trivia.

We're the types of people who know a lot of things, but usually in rather narrow domains. When we glanced at the category list, these were not it. Sports Brand Logos? Forget it. Current Events?! We chose full-time RV life so we could be escapist. We only let in news when it's convenient for us, and most current events come and go without our knowledge. Music Mashup? Really depends on the music. Are we talking music after 2010? Because with each year between 2010 and 2024, our knowledge gets worse and worse. Then there was General Knowledge, which was very dependent on the questions asked; Alliances and The Last Of, which could both possibly fall into Anthony's wheelhouse; and On the Farm, which given how badly we tend to do with the "green thumb" category in Head's Up, we weren't feeling confident about.

We were told to circle the category that we thought we'd be strongest at, and we would get bonus points for each point scored in that category. We chose General Knowledge. We were also told that the winner would get $25 off their tab, and the 2nd place winner would get $10 off. We wondered if we should have held off on getting our cheesecakes just in case we won, but we knew there would be a fat chance of that happening anyway. Besides being iffy about the categories, we started at a disadvantage in that we were only 2 brains, up against teams of 5 and 6 people at some tables. Still, we needed to exude confidence because our mental game needed to be on point. Our team name, BOW, wasn't doing it for us, and so I made some alterations.

The first half of the game was rough. We did well in General Knowledge, which thankfully gave us our bonus points, but as we predicted, Current Events was an utter failure. Let that be a testament to our success at being escapist. We may know nothing about current events, but think about how much less misery we hear about on a day-to-day basis?! Even still, our bonus points helped bump us, and at halftime we were in 4th place.

The leading team was barely reachable, but we thought if we pulled some answers out of our hats, we might be able to bump into a respectable 3rd place. We got through Music Mashup and did what we assumed was average. The Last Of was next, and once again, a mediocre round. Then came On the Farm. Something has definitely happened over the past several years, because these former city kids absolutely destroyed this category. We were confident in our answers for all 10 questions. Then, at the end of the game, we all got to wager up to 20 points on a bonus question. The category: Fly Me to the Moon. I turned to Anthony and said, "Well, if it's about astronomy, wager 20 points. If it's about Sinatra, not so much." It was about astronomy. We knew the answer. We wagered 20 points. As the scores were being tabulated, we thought we may actually have a fighting chance! And sure enough, the scores came up, and we had made it into to 3rd place.

We were ready to leave with our heads held high, but as they went over all the answers, one team chose to contest an answer. In Music Mashup, one of the songs was technically "Anaconda" by Nicki Minaj. However, the only part they used was the sample of Sir Mix-A-Lot's "Baby Got Back." This team guessed "Baby Got Back" and thought the point should count. We also guessed "Baby Got Back" but weren't going to fight it until it was brought up. The best part about the whole thing was that, when we tried to explain it to the hosts, they stared at us like we were from another dimension. The two of them were likely in their late teens and had literally no idea what we were talking about. Do kids not know about musical unoriginality these days?! I ended up getting pretty into our appeal, ending with "Come on, give the millennials a point!" Eventually, they did, and I said that I felt old and proud.

We assumed that the team that contested with us was also a leading team, so we assumed getting the extra point meant nothing. Turns out, they were just contesting on principle and actually had no skin in the game. Our extra point put us at a tie for 2nd place. We needed to do a tiebreaker.

The question was about boxing, aka one of the worst categories we could ever have gotten. But it revolved around a boxer's all-time knockouts, and they would grant the point to whoever's guess was closest without going over. We had enough information to calculate the probability of a knockout in any given match because we had the total number of matches this boxer played. We took our best guess based on this logic. The other team sadly didn't know boxing either, but they also must not have watched The Price Is Right very often, because they guessed really high, and in a "closest without going over" situation, you need to be conservative. And with that, we ended up sliding into 2nd place.

Since we didn't have a tab to pay, the staff offered us a $10 gift card, but we didn't know when we'd be coming back to Walker's Bluff. I'm sure we will because it was ahh-mazing, but as nomads we know it might be a while. We couldn't take any hot food to go because the kitchen was already closed, and so we decided to just get another cheesecake slice to go. They were around $8, so close enough to our $10 win, and they listed 3 on the menu: Caramel, strawberry, and chocolate. We had already gotten caramel and strawberry, so might as well complete the trifecta!

And that's how we ended up with 3 slices of cheesecake in our RV, and also when we realized that this might be the least healthy challenge of our RV lives. But that's totally cool! Not like either one of us has had any weird heart things happen recently! The funniest part about it, though, was that our victory was totally in keeping with the story of our lives. We didn't just win like normal people. We needed to win in dramatic fashion, with a contested answer and a tiebreaker. We really felt like we earned that cheesecake!

Only, did we really? When we got back to the rig, I put on "Anaconda" to see if I could pinpoint anything in that sample section that would decipher it from "Baby Got Back." Sure enough, there is a synthesized drum sound (also taken from a different song, by the way, but that's another story). That drum beat was in the mashup, and is in "Anaconda," but is not in "Baby Got Back." So technically, if the hosts had wanted to be real sticklers, they could have refused the point. But they didn't even know what the heck we were talking about, and all us old folks probably scared them, and so it is what it is. Not like we were about to complain. We had cheesecakes for days! Just a few mementos of our incredible time at Walker's Bluff.