The ultimate showdown! Branson mountain coasters

We've developed some interesting traditions since we started traveling full-time. We love to spot eagles and their nests. We made up a song to sing every time we cross the border into Ohio. And, we ride mountain coasters. This last one probably stems from the fact that we're big fans of mountains in general, and many of the activities that come with them. So when we put Branson, MO into our Season 3 travel route, we were expecting some mountain fun.

If you don't know what a mountain coaster (aka alpine coaster) is, it's a steel coaster that might look like a small roller coaster, but instead of one long string of cars, you ride in your own separate car, and you get to control the speed. Small children are allowed to ride with their parent. It's a sister ride to the alpine slide, but the slide uses a trough similar to one a bobsled might use. Coasters, however, ride the rails. Originally designed by a German company and constructed in Austria in 1996, mountain coasters can now be found all over the world, with many here in the US. We have officially completed every mountain coaster in the Smokies in Tennessee (at least those built before 2022; new ones keep popping up), and we also rode one in Williams, AZ. While this is still a very small number compared to the full array of coasters in the US, we take the rides pretty seriously, knowing what we like and don't like.

We like a coaster that has fun twists and turns to give us just enough thrill. We do not like coasters where we feel like we're going to be thrown to our demise (we're looking at you, Anakeesta). We like a seamless run where we have the freedom to go the speed we wish. We do not like when we get stuck behind people whose wish is to go at a snail's pace.

The rules are strict on keeping your distance from the car in front of you, but if you get too close, automatic mechanisms take over, which sound an alarm and then literally stop you in your tracks. When the adequate distance is cleared, the car starts up again. This means that on one end of the spectrum, you have an amazing, fluid ride, but on the other end, you have this:

But that's the name of the game. Sometimes we're able to go full throttle, and other times we're at the mercy of the car in front of us. No matter our experience, however, we do try to form an opinion based on the ideal ride. We like to learn about how long the tracks are, how fast the cars can go, and if there are any unique combinations of turns that feel extra thrilling. Sometimes the coasters also have other unique elements, like goats on the roof. Literally.

Branson has 3 mountain coasters, and we were determined to try all of them. First up was The Branson Coaster, aptly named and located in the middle of downtown. When we pulled in, we weren't expecting much by way of views. The tracks seemed to hover above some desolate dirt areas. But we kept an open mind.

We went at an off-time, which usually bodes well for getting to fully control our speed. When we arrived, we signed our waivers and brought them to the ticket counter. A woman named Stacey was working that day, and she was delightful. We talked for a bit about our RV life before making our way to the coaster.

The cars were noticeably sized for adults of many sizes. We sometimes run into issues with feeling cramped, despite being well within the accepted height range and nowhere near the typical 300lb weight limit. When I sat down, I had so much leg room that I actually couldn't decide whether to keep my legs bent or extend them the whole way.

Of course, use of phones is strictly prohibited on all mountain coasters, so we couldn't take mid-ride photos. Coasters also have varying levels of strictness when it comes to carrying on items. Most seem to allow our fanny packs because they are strapped to us, but the Branson Coaster did not. I secured my wallet and phone in zippered pockets, which was allowed. Some coasters require all loose items to be stored in a vehicle or cubby. This was the case for our next coaster, the Runaway Coaster.

The Branson Coaster was a solid ride, and the views were much better than we thought. We wove among the trees, speeding to a great soundtrack that consisted of mostly 90s rock. Nothing like some tunes to make us feel like we're the adequate age group to be riding these things!

We had a Groupon for the Branson Coaster, which gave us a ride each and one digital photo. However, Stacey let us download an extra photo so we could each have one.

In all of our rides, we've come to realize that it's not just the tracks that make for a good coaster experience. The energy of the staff is a big deal, as are the sights and sounds, and sometimes even the smells! Who knew that a mountain coaster could give such a multisensory experience? The Branson Coaster checked a lot of boxes, and it was certainly a fantastic start to our days visiting Branson.

Up next was the Runaway Coaster, which boasts the tallest, longest, and fastest coaster in the Midwest. We prepaid and signed our waivers online. All we needed to do was redeem our physical tickets and hop in line.

Another warm greeting from the staff, but we were a little nervous about this one. In front of us was only one family, a mother and father with a young child. When they bought their tickets, we heard the mom say that her son was riding with her. We may be stereotyping here, but in our experience, kids that ride with Dad go much faster than kids that ride with Mom. You can reason that on your own time. Knowing this was the plan, we probably should have purposely waited and given them ample time to run the track, but instead we followed them down to the start.

Anthony took one for the team and went in front of me. Really, though, if someone is going to go slow, we're bound to both catch up eventually. Anthony set off, and after the required distance was cleared, I followed. The uphill start took about 5 minutes, so we knew they weren't kidding about the "tallest" accolade. The length was over 4900ft, and we would have a second uphill portion in the middle. We love a good double descent coaster. Once again, the music was on point, with lots of rock music. However, on the way up, the music gave way to animal sound effects. It was a bit kitschy but also really entertaining. It certainly brought the outdoor flair to the ride!

As I was about to reach the top of the first hill, I saw mom and son riding down, and they were going extremely slow. My heart sank. I knew Anthony would get stuck behind them almost immediately. As for my ride, I got about 2/3 of the way through before I too, heard my car alarm and came to a halt.

When this happens, all fun goes out the window because we are constantly jerked to a stop, then slowly start again, only to be jerked to a stop again. One of the rules of riding the coaster is that, while you can control your speed, you are not supposed to pull back on the handle bars fully, because this will brake the car. This should only be done in emergencies. If someone is going slow, at least traffic can stay consistent. When someone brakes, it takes about 5 seconds for the locking mechanism to let up (if no one is in front of you), where then you can gradually crawl back up to speed. This coaster topped off at 30mph. That means in the 5 seconds the braked car is stopped, Anthony going full-throttle would gain over 210ft. The required distance between cars is 80ft. It's a guaranteed traffic jam.

We don't say this to rank on young kids wanting to ride a coaster. That is totally fine, and let's face it, we've even had grown adult single riders pull their brakes. It becomes dangerous, however, because if someone stops on the track when they're not supposed to, the person behind them often cannot slow down with enough distance. The automatic emergency braking mechanism then kicks in, but what if that mechanism failed? It would cause some serious injury. That's where we run into the biggest problem. A mother is trying to keep her young child "safe" by going slow on a ride that is actually safer when riding it faster. For this reason, if only two adults were behind me in line and I knew I'd be going slow with my kid, I'd let the adults go first. It's the safer decision and it allows everyone to have their own fun.

The Runaway Coaster has two photo ops on the way down. When I saw my photos after my ride, I just had to laugh. The first one was taken as I was still flying down at my optimal speed. The second one was right after I caught up to the jam. I had literally just been braked for the first time, so it's not even a look of disappointment on my face. More concern because I had to now try and keep my distance in a very precarious situation.

Anthony's ride was a little different. When I finished my ride, he was still getting out of his car and was talking to the girl who was manning the exit. She obviously knew what had happened because by the end, we were all crawling down to the bottom, one on top of the other. I entered the conversation right when the girl told Anthony that he could talk to the manager and possibly get a second ride for free. He was about to shrug it off when I told him, "Honestly Anthony, you should, because this was one of the best coasters I've done."

That was the thing. The height, length, and speed all made for great potential, but that potential was met with some amazingly designed twists and turns. At times I went airborne, not so much that I thought I was going to die, but enough to celebrate the physics of this track. They pushed it to its limits. That, coupled with the track's weaving through the trees, was a winning combination.

That was enough to convince Anthony to give it another go. We went into the shop to speak to the manager, and with no hesitancy, he told Anthony to go around to the ticket window and pick up another ticket. Meanwhile, I went to use the restroom, and on my way out, I saw this photo pop up on the screen:

One thing I can say about Anthony is that he definitely doesn't hide his emotions well.

I met Anthony at the start, where the girl invited me down to take some pictures. We were the only ones there and she knew we were responsible, but I was just awestruck by the number of workers we had met so far in Branson who went out of their way or bent the rules to make us happy. Climbing up the Branson Visitor Center sign to get a good blog cover photo. Getting a second Branson Coaster photo. And now, Anthony's second ride and my invite to take some photos. These people don't have to give us special treatment. We're in our mid-to-late 30s! And for the record, none of them actually knew we have a blog, so it's not like they were doing it for good publicity. But they get it anyways!

Anthony had a successful ride, and we were able to leave satisfied.

But first, we had to check out Anthony's photos at the gift shop. The difference between rides 1 and 2 were hilariously contrasted.

We just had to buy our comparative photos, despite being print only and $12 a pop. So much for that free ride! But it was all worth it for the laugh.

Considering Runaway seems to do a great job at keeping their customers happy – even without a free ride, you can still get re-rides for a discount – the one thing that would give this coaster an A+ would be selling digital souvenir photos, because scanning all of the prints for the blog was tedious and resulted in pretty poor quality.

The following day, we headed to Shepherd of the Hills to ride our third and final coaster, the Copperhead Coaster. Have you read the Branson blog yet? Because we talk about our experience with Shepherd of the Hills, and let's just say our opinion is less than favorable. However, you can ride the Copperhead Coaster without buying a ticket to the whole farm.

Once again, we bought our tickets and signed our waivers online, but we needed to redeem our physical ride tickets, which was a lot more involved than it should ever be. Once in hand, we got in line for the coaster. It was the middle of the day on a Saturday, and so the line was reasonably long. Not terrible, but it still ended up being over a 20-minute wait. This gave us plenty of time to read the rules, and we were thoroughly confused – a common reaction to most things in Shepherd of the Hills. There were two posters titled "Ride Operation," and they looked identical, but the rules were completely different on each.

We also noticed that one of the rules was to pull long hair back in a bun and not a pony tail, which was a new one. They didn't enforce it at all; many flowing manes took off in their cars. I quickly bunned my hair for no other reason except to be satirical.

Anthony thought that the fact that this coaster was designed by a German company was a good omen, but I didn't have high hopes. After all, the coaster boasted being the "longest in Branson," which is a bald-faced lie. The Runaway Coaster beats it by over 100ft.

When it was finally our turn to embark, Anthony immediately complained that the shoulder area of the car was too narrow, and I immediately had trouble getting my seatbelt on. Evidently the seatbelts come out of their little slots frequently and cannot be pulled enough to buckle. Because that sounds totally safe! But we put on some smiles and hoped for a fun ride.

When I was the next to go, a shift change happened with the workers, and the new worker somehow spilled a bunch of tickets on the ground and they all started blowing in the wind. He had yet to even announce the rules to us. We didn't care. Our delay meant that we would be far behind the people in front of us, and hopefully that meant we'd get a full, fast ride.

And we did. And it was mediocre. Not the best and not the worst. We always prefer coasters that have the climb at the beginning because it builds excitement and anticipation. This coaster had the climb at the end, which means the adrenaline dissipates quickly and then we just end up bored, slowing moving up the hill. The soundtrack was also very strange. No rock this time, and not even any folk or country in honor of Branson. The chosen genre? Classical. Odd. I will, however, give credit where its due. This coaster felt the most tucked away in nature, which made sense given that it was the furthest away from downtown. The only pavement we passed by was the back of the parking lot. The rails were also decorated with lights, which I imagine would make for a really cool ride at night. (Many of the other coasters have lights as well, but these were most noticeable, maybe because there was nothing to do at the end but stare in front of me).

No souvenir photos offered on this ride, which is surprising given how long the track was. As for carrying loose items on, this coaster was the most lenient, even allowing purses and bags. We both wore our fanny packs with no issue.

We tried to not let our overall experience at Shepherd of the Hills taint our coaster ride, but we do think it was our least favorite of the three. Again I say, sometimes the people really do make the experience.

So in the ultimate showdown, we rank the Branson Coasters as follows:

3: Copperhead Coaster
2: Branson Coaster
1: Runaway Coaster

Really though, the coasters are all lots of fun, and you can't go wrong with any of them. These rides help define what makes mountain towns so glorious.

Should we jump into a formal quest to ride every mountain coaster in the US? Maybe! Although it is surprisingly difficult to find a comprehensive list. Not to mention the amount of misinformation that abounds. Wikipedia lists the Smoky Mountain Alpine Coaster as the fastest in the US, but it tops out at 27mph. Runaway Coaster tops out at 30. The list goes on. But, we don't actually care which is the fastest, tallest, or longest. We only care about having a good time, while getting a new perspective on the nature surrounding us.