Could I ever be a SoFe RVer?

We knew when we hit the road that eventually the time would come when one of us would need to travel, leaving the other to hold down the fort at a campground somewhere. We try to arrange our schedule so that we can RV to anywhere we need to be at a given time, but sometimes this isn't feasible. Anthony got a new job last spring that we knew would require occasional travel, and their annual conference was being held in Palm Springs at the end of January. There was no way we wanted to try and rush all the way out to CA right after spending the holidays with our families, and so we made the plans for Anthony to fly across county while I stayed back in the RV with the pets. This would be the first time one of us would spend an extensive period of time alone in the trailer, in an unfamiliar place. I'd be getting a glimpse into life as a Solo Female ("SoFe") RVer.

Before COVID, we were pretty used to having independent lives. Anthony worked in Boston while I worked at home and south of the city. We'd both leave occasionally to go visit family or for work travel. But once lockdowns were instated and our jobs went fully remote, we found ourselves spending a lot of time together in our house. This is actually one of the reasons we knew we'd be able to RV together. We never felt cramped during lockdown, and for the most part, we got along really well. The downside to that is, when it came time for Anthony's conference, we were both totally out of practice as far as our independent lives were concerned.

We had plans to head west in 2023, but I wanted to stay on the east coast for January, so that I could at least be in a familiar state the week Anthony needed to fly out. After a lot of thought, we decided to park in South Carolina. It was far enough south that we could make our blitz west once Anthony returned, but it was a state I was comfortable in. I had been to SC many times before, knew people in the area, and had a low possibility of needing to battle any weather issues, such as a snow storm. I chose to book Hunting Island State Park despite having never been there. It wasn't too far from the Charleston and Savannah airports for Anthony, and I got to be a little off the beaten path so I could feel relaxed while I hunkered down.

We did a lot of preparation for my stay alone besides strategically choosing a location. Before we arrived at Hunting Island we set aside time on a drive day to demonstrate each other's "setting up tasks," aka the things we each do separately when we arrive to a campground. When we arrived to Myrtle Beach, our stop before Hunting Island, we had some time for Anthony to walk me through everything he does to connect our hookups, get our internet set up, and get what we need out of the truck. It wasn't totally unfamiliar to me, as when we first picked up our trailer we both went through all the drive day tasks together, but a refresher is always nice. This way if anything went wrong while Anthony was gone, I'd have an easier time troubleshooting because his tasks would be fresh in my mind. In turn, I showed Anthony my drive day tasks, which involve getting our trailer organized. He wouldn't need to know these anytime soon, but we took advantage of the opportunity. Someday we plan to completely switch tasks during set-up, so that we can put to the test all we learned on our little demonstration day.

When we arrived to Hunting Island, I scoped out the campground to make sure it felt safe. I'm a big reader of energy, so getting a feel of our surroundings was a big deal. I noticed a lot of retirees, women walking their dogs alone, and children playing on their bicycles. It might be stereotyping, but it's these things that, as a woman, make me feel safe.

We had hoped to have more time to get me situated before Anthony's flight, but we got to our campsite at dusk the night before his early morning flight. That meant I was left to orient myself on my own. I explored the different parts of the campground both with and without Tanner, noting where all the facilities were located, the camphost's site, and finding where and when the rangers tended to make their rounds. Thankfully everyone at the campground seemed very nice and the rangers had a good level of supervision. The fact that the campground was separate from the day-use area also made it feel more secure, and there was a gate that was closed and locked every night, and only registered campers had the code to get in.

I planned my schedule for the week around the weather. Half the days had rainstorms in the forecast, so those were my days to hunker down and get work done. The other days would be a split between work and exploring. If I was feeling confident enough, I wanted to drive to the other side of the park one day because this is where most of the state park activities are. Otherwise, I took lots of walks down to the beach and around the campground loop. For my safety, I always kept my keys in an accessible pocket, which had a keychain pepper spray attached. I kept the RV door locked at all times, had the security cameras set up, and had my guard dog keeping me company. Don't let his exterior fool you; he can be quite nasty with strangers!

On a beautiful sunny day, I decided it was time to take the truck over to the day-use side of the park. I went to the lighthouse, which has a museum that tells all about the history of the light and its keepers. I walked over to the North Beach near the lighthouse, and then backtracked to South Beach, which has all of the hiking trails. I hiked the Lagoon Trail, an easy walk through the palms, winding along an oceanside lagoon shimmering in the sunshine. It was 1.5 miles until I reached Little Hunting Island. This used to be part of the main island but was separated during a couple of the recent hurricanes. The island is now home to the "Boneyard," lots of dead trees and debris from the erosion of the maritime forest. The Boneyard was my number one must-see at Hunting Island. It was like walking into a post-Apocalyptic world. There are signs posted everywhere warning of the risks of walking in the area due to the many natural hazards in the form of branches and trunks. There used to be a boneyard at North Beach also, but it was controversially cleared in 2019. The attempts at "restoration" were met with horror as locals claimed the bulldozing did more harm than good. The South Beach boneyard remains, though, and exploring it was a highlight of my visit. On the way back from the Boneyard, I opted to take the Maritime Forest Trail, which runs parallel to the Lagoon Trail and offers a peaceful walk in the woods. It's the "before" image of the lush greenery of palms and pines. The boneyard is the "after" shot. It was the most peaceful walk back, listening to the rustling of palm leaves and the chirps of the birds flying in the forest canopy.

My day of exploration really helped me reclaim my pre-pandemic independent spirit. There have been a few times in recent years that I've opted to hike alone, and these hikes offer a totally different experience than when I share them with a partner. I can be more mindful, never worry about my speed, and it's a great time to gather my thoughts.

Thankfully there's nothing big to report in terms of the solo RV experience. One stormy day I had to watch the forecast carefully, as there were warnings of high winds and possible tornadoes. Like any stormy day whether I'm alone or not, I checked the weather frequently, made note of where to go in case of severe weather (the bathhouse was right across from my site and seemed like the safest option), and alerted my emergency contacts of my status. The weather never became severe, and I discovered that our site seemed to be impervious to wind. All the surroundings sites had trees blowing everywhere, but the palmettos outside my window remained still all day long.

Besides tripping a circuit breaker (which I do at least once a month), there was nothing in the RV that needed troubleshooting or repair. So perhaps this wasn't a true test of SoFe RVing, especially because I didn't have to do any of the towing on my own, but it was a nice confidence booster that let me know that I can be in unfamiliar places, exploring on my own, and it's OK. Buggy is my home, and I can use him for security, no matter what lies on the outside.

SoFe traveling isn't easy, and extra precautions sadly do need to be taken in our society, but it's not something to shy away from if you're a female who's yearning for adventure. There are lots of female traveler groups so you can establish a community, plus sites to help you take steps to stay safe. Clearly I'm no expert, but I get the draw of freedom that this lifestyle allows. That is why I chose a life of travel, after all.

So my conclusion is, if you're an independent free spirit and have the courage to adventure on your own, solo traveling can be a wonderful growing experience. But, if you find yourself a companion who will be a good teammate throughout all of the adventures, it's a recipe for some wonderful memory making. It's all about how you choose to adventure and what will make you happiest. For some, it's hitting the road solo. For others, it's having a partner or family. Some choose to travel in larger groups. And for some, of course, traveling isn't a top priority. As long as you're living the life that's best for you, you're doing it right.